The popular language around January is one of optimism, momentum and self-improvement. ‘Happy New Year’ instruct your friends, family, neighbours, colleagues and strangers in the street with the cheery confidence that this is an option for you. The new year invites reflection, whether we want it to or not. We are encouraged to look back over the past 12 months and assess ourselves: what we achieved, what we didn’t, who we became, what we wish we had done differently.
New year’s resolutions are usually rooted in the idea that we need fixing. We need to be more disciplined. More productive. More confident. Less anxious. Less emotional. Less tired. Less ourselves.
When your mental health feels challenged or when life feels far from where you hoped it would be, the new year can feel less like an opportunity for a fresh start and more like a damning accusation.
Instead of excitement there may be dread. Instead of motivation there lies a sick heaviness. Instead of clarity a familiar knot of anxiety or sadness. And alongside this can come a quiet sense of failure – as though the turning of the calendar has somehow highlighted everything that isn’t working. Everything that was wrong about the year just passed is still there when the fireworks have finished and the champagne has gone flat.
For someone already struggling, this process can quickly become harsh and unforgiving. Reflection turns into rumination. Honest assessment slips into self-criticism and the mind becomes a courtroom rather than a place of curiosity. You might find yourself replaying perceived mistakes, losses or missed opportunities or comparing where you are now to where you thought you would be this time last year. Measuring yourself against peers, siblings, friends or an imagined version of yourself who somehow ‘got it right – all compounded by the artificial perfection of social media – is the road to hell.
While change can be healthy and meaningful the pressure to overhaul yourself every January can be deeply unkind. If you are living with anxiety, depression, trauma, burnout or low self-esteem, resolutions can feel like just another reminder of how far you already believe you fall short.
For some the new year arrives at a time of deep unhappiness or uncertainty. Perhaps a relationship has ended or isn’t what you hoped it would be. Perhaps work feels draining or meaningless. Perhaps you feel stuck in repetitive patterns of behaviour that you don’t understand. In these moments, the idea of a ‘fresh start’ can feel almost mocking. You may want change desperately but are overwhelmed as to where to begin or just feel exhausted by the idea of trying again.
One of the gentlest re-frames is this: not every season of life is about growth or transformation. Some seasons are about survival, rest and holding yourself together. Rather than asking what you should change it can be more compassionate to ask what you need. What feels hard? What deserves care rather than criticism?
If this resonates, you don’t have to hold these feelings on your own. Therapy can offer a steady, compassionate space to explore what the new year is stirring up for you at your pace and without any pressure to have everything figured out. Therapy slows things down. Anxiety often thrives on urgency - the sense that we should be doing more, feeling better or starting again immediately. In therapy there is no rush to fix or transform. Instead you are invited to notice how the new year really feels for you without judgement and with honesty. When pressure eases, anxiety softens.
A therapist can help you explore underlying themes gently, connecting present anxiety to past experiences, personal history or internalised expectations. Understanding why this time of year is so difficult for you can make your feelings more manageable and less overwhelming. Therapy supports a more realistic and compassionate view: that change is rarely sudden, linear or tied to a calendar date. You are allowed to carry things with you into the new year. You do not have to be ready to ‘reinvent yourself’.
Finally, therapy reminds you that you do not have to face this time alone. When the world seems to be moving forward loudly and confidently, having a consistent, supportive relationship can feel grounding. Therapy provides safety and continuity — a place where you can arrive exactly as you are whether that is hopeful, anxious, numb or uncertain. Happy new year to you all.